So here we are: T minus 5 days away from my sister and my nephew's arrival.
As I was preparing for their arrival this weekend and doing all the necessary things: washing the bedding, cleaning the guest bathroom, cleaning out the car.... I once again realized how much I miss them! I miss my family so much.
I never thought it would be easy to leave them. But it never dawned on me how hard it would be either.
I still remember the day I left Boise with a one-way ticket to England. That was the most epic morning of my life. Still to this day....
My heart was so excited to be with my husband and go onto a new adventure; but I also knew that I would never call Boise home again. I knew that nights having dinner at my mom's when I just wanted to stop by would never be again. I knew going to catch a movie randomly with my sister would never happen again. Walking along the greenbelt with my friends during the sunset just because I had a free night wouldn't be my normal anymore. Stopping by my grandma's house to have Sunday dinner with her wouldn't happen anymore. I was heading into a new normal and it was terrifying! Exciting and terrifying!
But here I was, heading off to jolly 'ol England. The land of tea and crumpets, the land of fish and chips, the land of historic places, and fun accents. This was going to be the adventure of my life. But yet, I was still heart-broken.
Fast-forward seven years from that epic morning where I boarded the plane with my one-way ticket in one hand and my tear-stained tissue in the other. I have traveled all over Europe. I've been to 10 countries. I've seen the Eiffel Tower, Edinburgh Castle, Auchwitz and Berkinau, The Leaning tower of Pisa. I've stood in the Collseum and seen the Sistine Chapel with my own eyes. I have had an amazing time exploring this wonderful world. And now I've been afforded the opportunity to live in the tropical environment that I've always dreamed of living in. Life is great and I am blessed!
But it doesn't change the fact that I still want to hug my family whenever I want. It doesn't change the fact that we have countdowns to visits and countdowns to the time we have to say goodbye again. It doesn't change the fact that if something were to happen to either me or a member of my family, arrangements have to be made for travel and time off of work. It doesn't change the fact that I miss them. I miss them everyday.
But with all that being said, I do get excited counting down the days to arrival. I get excited about planning our activities while they're here or I'm there. I get excited thinking about getting that hug and sharing those laughs that I've missed all this time. I get excited about seeing my nephew growing and changing. And I have to treasure the moments that I share with them when I get to share them.
I've always said that my life would be completely different if I was a military spouse 20 years ago. In this age I have Facebook, I have Instagram, I have Skype and Snapchat. I have the ability to text a photo and a video real time to simulate experiencing something "together". I am thankful for the technology I've been afforded. Without these things, the missing piece of my life, my family, would feel like an even bigger void.
I'm thankful to have a husband who I love and who keeps me great company. I'm thankful for a wonderful church family who treats me like real family. I'm thankful that I still have people who love me in the absence of my family. I wouldn't trade these people for anything in the world. But I will always miss my family. I will always yearn to have them down the street. I will never feel 100% knowing that I can't hug them whenever I want.
I read something today that said: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because at least it happened."
These words touched my heart today. With the upcoming arrival of my sister and nephew also comes the upcoming departure. The day where I have to say goodbye all over again. But I have to remember these words at that time. I have to be thankful that I had the days that I did and got to make more memories to store in my mental bank.
And then I will start planning for the next trip. The next set of memories. The next "first" hug after a long separation. There is nothing like that feeling of hugging someone that you haven't been able to hug in a long, long time. It's a feeling of home and security that you can't find anywhere else. I felt it when my husband returned home from deployment and I feel it everytime I'm reunited with family.
I will be satisfied in that thought.That is a pleasant thought. The thought of a warm hug!
Thank you, military, for allowing me to really know what I have and teaching me how to treasure the moments as they happen!
Q
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