5 Top Tips for Military Spouses During This Holiday Season

 

Being a military spouse is hard! If you are one, you certainly know what I’m talking about. Constantly saying goodbye to the people you get close to,...constantly starting and stopping careers... constantly thinking about having to “date” new friends at your new duty station... constantly wondering how long until it’s time to move again.... But we do it because we love our service members, don’t we? We love them enough that if being with them means being apart from those we love then we’ll stick out the journey with them. Don’t get me wrong – it certainly comes with its own excitement. Wondering “what’s next” can be as much exciting as it is scary! We have the opportunity to see the world, to meet people from everywhere, to travel more than most people we grew up with ever will. It’s certainly a great opportunity. But we’ve all felt the pains of being far away from those we love at least once. But I would argue that these feelings come up pretty frequently during our walk in this life as a military spouse!

One of the hardest times to be away is the holidays! You’re pretty much guaranteed to be away from family during the holidays. Some people are fortunate enough to be stationed within driving distance or sometimes even where they’re from, but that’s more uncommon than common. Often times you’re on the other side of the country, unable to afford to fly home, unable to get enough time off of work to even go, and sometimes you might be on an entirely different continent which makes limited finances and time off an even bigger contributor to your inability to be home with the ones you love!

This is especially hard when you’re a NEW military spouse. Let me tell you, after 9 holiday seasons away, it never really gets any EASIER, per se; but you get accustomed to it. But your first few seasons can be very difficult. Some of us even find ourselves in a position where we’re away from our family AND our service member if they happen to be deployed. Talk about a double whammy!

So what can you do to make it a bit easier to get through this season? Here are my top 5 tips to getting through the holidays when you’re away from your family:

1.      Set up a video chat!

 

       What a better way to feel like you’re with your family than to see them face to face, see them moving, and see them talking. We lose a lot through voice-only calling. It’s a whole different experience when you are doing a live call. So plan around time differences, figure out what video platform you’re going to use (Skype, Facetime, Tango, Zoom….there are tons!), and connect with them. We’re blessed to live in a day and age that our predeceasing military wives didn’t, with technology options that they would have died for. Let’s take advantage of it!

2.      Connect with a group of people wherever you might be stationed.

 

       Whether this be people from your church, people from your job, please from your husband’s job, find someone to spend the day with! You can even host something for the younger service members in your husband’s work center. You know, the ones who live in the dorms. They are probably looking for something to do as well and they certainly don’t want to be alone either. At least we have the gift of our spouses in most cases to help us not feel alone. These men and women don’t have that. So cook an awesome meal (pinterest, anyone?) and throw an awesome get-together. You will leave an awesome impression on them and make their holiday brighter!

3. Venture out somewhere if you’re stationed somewhere amazing.

 

       When I was stationed in England we decided to go to the city of Bath on Thanksgiving Day. We also stopped over and saw Stonehenge on that trip. So if you’re lucky to be stationed somewhere overseas or even somewhere stateside that’s a great touristy area, take advantage of the day off of work and go check something out. Make the most of the opportunity to live somewhere different and get out and see all that you can! Was it kind of weird not having turkey that day? Yeah, it was kind of weird! But the trip was so much more fun!

 

4. Try a new recipe!

 

       Did I say Pinterest before? I’ll say Pinterest again! Try something new. Do a search for holiday recipes and have fun. Esecially if it’s just you and your spouse. There’s no outsider to judge your cooking and it lets you get creative in the kitchen. Who knows….you might even find a dish that will become a new holiday tradition!

 

5.  Speaking of traditions – make new ones!

       There’s nothing wrong with keeping traditions that you grew up with! A lot of traditions tend to be the same from family to family so chances are that you and your spouse will have some similar traditions that you’ll both want to do. Totally ok. But your lives are combined now and you will more than likely live away from family and won’t be able to see them EVERY holiday. So why not create your own fun holiday traditions that you can then pass along to your kids?! Maybe it’s cooking a certain cookie on Christmas Eve. Maybe it’s going to volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter on Christmas morning. It could be a tradition of going caroling on Christmas Eve! The possibilities are endless. But chances are if you work on developing your own traditions and memories it will be easier for you to feel apart from the ones that you grew up with!

 

There are probably many more ideas that you can come up with on how to get through the holiday season away from your loved ones. I’m not going to tell you that it ever gets easier because it really never gets easier, but it does become normal. And it can actually be super enjoyable for you by embracing it and making it your own with your own memories. Then one holiday hopefully your loved ones can come to YOUR house and experience that way that you’ve chosen to do the holidays! 

GOD BLESS ALL OF OUR MILITARY FAMILIES, OUR MILITARY WIVES & HUSBANDS, OUR DEPLOYED TROOPS IN VARIOUS LOCATIONS, AND THE FAMILIES BEHIND THEM THAT SUPPORT THEM FROM AFAR! I WISH YOU ALL HAPPY HOLIDAY AND AN AMAZING NEW YEAR NO MATTER WHERE YOU MIGHT BE!